A New Beginning

I realized a lot today. After working 9 hours setting up a shoe store I felt a little bit of clarity about my life, well the future part of it that is. The things I went through just recently that brought me down and made me question everything about me were all part of a learning experience. After the pain I grew and became a better person. I'm still learning and still growing and it's all for the better. On my lunch break I sat in my car and realized that the first time 'IT' ended was exactly like this time. A person just walks away and never looks back. The first time I went through it I hurt a lot, but now I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I was never really strapped down or being forced to do something I didn't want to, but the emotional and mental stress it put on me was unbearable. Now it's all over and I can focus on just me.

Work is great. I got about 36 hours next week plus the 10 or so I'll be doing at the university. Sooner than I know I'll be back on track with my finances and out of this ridiculous debt. I may even have some left over to buy the kiddos some Christmas presents... I said might.

School is going to wrap up soon and I'm sure I'm going to get the grades I wanted. It's been a hard semester but I enjoyed taking my major courses and focusing everything on Adv/PR. For the first time EVER I registered for classes early and have the schedule I want for next semester ready to go! I can't wait.

Family and friends are good. Everything at home is calm. No arguments, nothing. We are actually getting along! I've made new friends and gotten close to old friends I never knew much about. Some friends that were once so important in my life aren't around anymore or I don't keep in touch with as much but that's fine. They're doing their own thing and I'm doing mine. I like what I have.

I just feel like for once I'm doing everything I said I was going to do. I'm not just letting my mouth run with wants and desires. I'm actually completing my goals and working towards bigger and better ones. I can say that I'm proud of who I am and what I've done. When I was younger I would sit around and mope. Questioning who I was, did I fit in, was I important? I was never 100% sure of myself. And now I am. I'm proud of my responsibilities and the track on which my life is going. I'm excited for the future. I know I'm going to have a few days where everything seems like too much and I want to crumble, but I'll never get to the point that I give up. I'm happy and for once I don't think I'm lying when I say that.

I'm done for now, wish me luck!